CONFESSION #180

The Good News:

I've been methodically saving and putting away my money for over thirty plus years.

The Bad News:

My entire life's savings can be found within the plastic walls of an animal cracker jar and with plenty of room to spare I might add.

CONFESSION #179

I truly believe 99.9% of the people who are married in the world are married to the wrong person.

Think of what the odds are of someone finding and marrying the one person in the world he or she would be happiest with.

CONFESSION #178

I knowingly and willingly French-kissed a woman who was missing all of her teeth just so I could, hopefully, make her older, more physically attractive sister jealous.

CONFESSION #177

Before participating in a high school baseball game, I once shoved a deck of playing cards into my jockstrap in place of the protective cup I had forgotten at home.

CONFESSION #176

I’ve taken some legendary and almost mythical “dumps” inside the graffiti filled stalls of public washrooms without ever having the decency, sometimes, to flush the toilet.

CONFESSION #175

In kindergarten or thereabouts, I let a kid steal all of my Star Wars’ action figures and Darth Vader carrying case simply because I was too much of a wimp to stand up to him.

CONFESSION #174

While playing baseball (on countless occasions) in the crowded parking lot of our apartment complex as a kid, I hit and damaged a lot of my neighbors’ vehicles with tennis balls.

CONFESSION #173

I believe government workers, specifically law enforcement officials, are inherently more dangerous than the mob, gangs, or common street thugs because of their ability to lie and get away with it.

CONFESSION #172

After picking my nose, which I embarrassingly do quite frequently, I’ll often wipe my boogers on just about anything I can reach regardless of who might stumble upon it later in the day.

CONFESSION #171

As an animal loving but moneyless and senseless kid, I sold some of my most prized and cherished baseball cards, at a huge loss, just so I could afford to buy a pet hamster I coveted.